Obsession: Large chunky watches (and #smallasiangirlproblems)

Hey all.

I’m writing this in Hanoi, Vietnam where it is currently 20 degrees C (that’s 68F) but my family is insisting that it is freezing and that I need to wear a sweater at all times. Including bedtime.

Anyway. It was my birthday yesterday (or 2 days ago, depending on which timezone you’re in) and I decided that I wanted a Michael Kors watch as a present. It’s been kind of an Autumn trend to wear really large chunky watches, and it beats wearing a ton of bracelets to make a statement. Also, fully practical because y’know, you can check the time to make sure you’re always exactly 12 minutes fashionably late to brunches and luncheons and charity dinners. Okay, so a chunky designer watch probably only has what Baudrillard would call a ‘functional simulacrum’, being more about otium and sign exchange value than functionality, but when it looks this cute…:

(also loving her turquoise nails)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I got super excited and everything, spending hours (very obsessive, me) picking out the one that I liked best — this one:

Pretty, right?

Yeah, I thought so too until I realized the diameter of the face is 42mm. .. my wrists are only some 7cm in circumference, and the flat part is about 3cm across. The watch would literally cover my entire wrist. Grrreat.

So I tried to search around for smaller ones and came up with these:

 

Both are 38mm.

I already have a watch that I think is pretty large so I searched for it and ironically, it’s actually called the DKNY Small Ceramic Watch. Watch face diameter: 24mm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And it still looks pretty large on my wrist.

So I sized down, and the only size left (that had the chunky-style watches) was 33mm. And even then, I was left with a choice of like 2, neither by which I particularly taken (hence why I couldn’t be bothered to include them in this post).

So yeah. Screw you, watch designers. Seriously, you can’t make your watches smaller? People make goddamn pencil nib sculptures; you can’t put a chronograph, some dials and numbers on a smaller watch face?

But that being said, I’m still going to be on the hunt for (relatively) large watches. I’m pretty determined (when you can’t have it, you want it that much more…). Maybe I’ll scour children’s watches. Or get carpal bone augmentation surgery. They do those, right?